Some weeks ago (yes - I am really behind in posting), a student (let's call him Botan) cameto my office with another student (Bnar?) and offered me baklava. I asked what the occasion was and they announced their engagement. I was a little surprised, but happy for them as I knew them both well having taught Bnar in 2006-7 and Botan the following year. I asked when the weddign would take place and they explained that although Bnar would graduate at the end of this academic year, they would wait the two years until Botan graduated before actually getting married. I offered my congratulations and they both (!!!!) hugged me. (This is surprising as some of the students following a stricter path of Islam will lay their assignments on my desk to avoid accidentally touching a woman.)
Anyway, after this incident, I asked some of the students in the new year why Aysha (not real name) had to leave the university in order to be married. I was informed that she got engaged and that it was not the done thing to have a long engagement... people would talk!
So much like anywhere else, customs vary from one to another. Omer can't shake my hand, but Botan can hug me. Bnar can be engaged for 2 years before marriage, but 4 months is too long for Aysha. On the Internet, there are so many opposing views as to what is allowed in Islam.
I guess it is all relative. I am glad to find that at least I am in a place where people have the right to make their own choices about how to follow.
Botan & Bnar: All the best to the both of you!
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